Right, here’s the thing, everyone I know is having babies. Well not everyone, obviously not the guys and not every female either because that would be weird and if that’s happening someone should be checking the water supply, but a lot of people I know are having babies, they’re just spitting them out like peas. Well, maybe more like melons, urghhhh,.
It’s making me broody, I think I want one. I don’t know, maybe I could just borrow one or something because the thought of child birth is making my eyes water and I really don’t want to get fat and have puffy ankles and stuff and I like my life right now and a baby just ties you down doesn’t it. But I remember thinking that the first time and then I didn’t mind being tied down in the slightest, in fact I kind of liked it.

Maybe it’s because the Wee Man is getting older and so independent and he made himself a sandwich the other night. A sandwich! Buttered the bread and everything all by himself and I have to admit I was a bit gutted. What purpose do I have in life if not to make sandwiches for my boy? What am I going to do when he stops needing me to choose what clothes to put on in the morning and his feet are nearly bigger than mine now and I swear in year or two, the way he is growing he will be taller than me. What am I going to do then? What about when he brings a girl home? He does now, he always has a little gaggle of girls following him around but I mean a proper girlfriend, man, I’m going to hate that bitch!

So maybe having a baby would help but then what will I do when that one grows up? Pop out another one? Maybe I should just get a dog.

I’m also slightly worried because according to my pc I’m a Ho! I got one of these e mail questionnaires this morning that measures how much of a slapper you are so I filled the stupid thing in and I got quite a respectable result and then I though “I wonder what it would say to me if I was honest”, so I filled it in again and it said I was 68% hoe and it called me a slut!
I think maybe I was to honest though and they were stupid questions like have you ever been unfaithful? Yes, when I was much younger and not married I might add. Have you ever exposed yourself in public? Well, yeah, but never on purpose.
In retrospect I think I am really only about 40 – 45% a slut which is ok because my friend Mel scored 40% and she’s practically a virgin and you know I have been married for 9 years so I am allowed to do it!