Today, I am mostly organising my life via post it notes. My desk is covered in little yellow sticky bits of paper covered in mad scribbles and doodles that make perfect sense to me but to anyone else, looks like the ramblings of a mad woman and to be honest that’s pretty much what I was this weekend….a rambling mad woman.

Honestly, I spent all weekend in my pyjamas crying! It’s kind of funny when you think about it. Friday night I was crying over the baby rabbit, Saturday I had a mad crying fit because I was homesick and Sunday I watched Phenomenon, I tell ya, don’t even attempt to watch that film if you are feeling hormonal or even slightly sensitive. It’s awful, he is so lovely and then he is sick and then he is in love and then he goes and dies!
At one point on Sunday afternoon I looked in the mirror and gave myself a fright. I was in my pj’s (hey, it was Sunday ok) and I had mad cavewoman hair and mascara streaked down my cheeks, I honestly did look like I was on the run from the men in the white coats.

Hubby thinks I have finally lost it, he spent all weekend laughing at me and eventually when all the tears and hormones and general crazy mad woman behaviour got to much for him he went out to dig up the garden and wash the car and I swear I could hear him laughing to himself out there too.

Come to think of it, maybe I should act like a psycho more often, I might get more down around the place. Our garage needs cleaning out. I might need to fake a breakdown for that one.

Anyway, I am feeling slightly more sane today and came to work this morning raring to go and ready to face the world and it’s all descended into chaos.

I can’t even see my desk because of the dumb ass post its and my stupid phone won’t stop ringing. Do these people not know its Monday morning? Is there not an unwritten rule somewhere that says you don’t do any work on a Monday morning or Friday afternoon or is that just me?
Get with the program folks!

I am going home for Easter. Its school holidays and I have booked a week of work so have decided to venture up North. To say I am excited would be an understatement.

Look out Stornoway, here I come!

Hubby found a baby rabbit on the road last night and took it home.

He had gone to pick up an Indian and on the way he saw something laying in the middle of the road so he stopped the car and had a look and saw this tiny little rabbit. It was shaking and terrified and it couldn’t move. We think a car had hit it and its back legs were broken. So he took it home.

It was the most beautiful little thing, it was so tiny you could fit it in the palm of your hand. We put it in a little basket with a towel and it just lay there and you could see it was absolutely terrified and it was trying to move and it just couldn’t and it was covered in fleas but I didn’t even care.

We phoned the vet and she was on her way out but she said to take it down later. So I sat with it and pretty soon it stopped panicking, you could just tell. It just sat and looked at me with these gorgeous big dark eyes and I knew what the vet was going to do and I was crying my eyes out and it just sat and looked at me and I swear it knew too.
And it just looked at me as if to say can’t you help me and I couldn’t.

When it was time to take it to the vets I sat with the basket on my knee and I cried all the way down and when we took it in I think I had kind of convinced myself that it had perked up a bit and it was even moving around so when she had a look at it and said she had to put it to sleep I was just gutted and it broke my heart leaving it there. And I cried all the way home.

And I couldn’t stop thinking about the poor little rabbit with the gorgeous big eyes and somewhere out there it’s mother was looking for her baby and she wouldn’t know or understand what had happened and I still want to cry now when I think about it.

And oh my goodness, I’m so homesick. My sister went for a scan the other day and she is having a little boy. I want to be back on Lewis so much.
There is no better feeling than standing in my ma’s kitchen looking out the window at Broad Bay, there's Gaelic songs on the radio, my da’s outside having a fly fag round the side of the house and he thinks no one knows, my sister is in the bedroom ranting about something or other and my ma s flapping around because it’s a quarter to six and she hasn’t even started the tea yet.
I can’t even describe the feeling, it’s like everything is right, everything is just how it’s supposed to be and even though it’s as noisy as a building site it’s somehow peaceful and just perfect.
I’m listening to a song called In Search of Angels by a band called Run Rig and there is a certain line
“sun down on barren words that can’t describe
your island paradise”
Every time I hear it, it starts me off again but I can’t stop playing it.

Anyway, it was just a rabbit.

I have pulled my calf muscle and it sodding hurts.

I went to the gym last night which considering I haven’t been for ages and I really couldn’t be bothered, I was actually quite proud of myself. Turns out it was a big mistake because now I’m hobbling around feeling sorry for myself telling anyone who will listen how I have a “really bad sports injury and I might need physio you know”!!!!

I managed half an hour on the elliptical trainer (I even did it backwards because I will tone up my ass even if it kills me) with no problems whatsoever and then after only ten minutes on the rowing machine, where you hardly even use your legs, I got the worst cramp ever! No exaggeration. It took me about ten minutes before I could stand up so I had to sit there rubbing my poor leg making pathetic whimpering noises and cursing under my breath and people kept asking me if I was ok and I was all big smiles and “yes, I’m fine” and trying not to cry.

So I went home and lay on the sofa and milked it for all it was worth.

Yes, I am like a man when I am ill or in pain. I need sympathy, NOW. I need someone to make me tea and stroke my head, I need someone to listen to me moan and feel sorry for me and if I need to go vomit I want you to old my hair and rub my back whilst I’m doing it damn it. I need attention!!!

I’m so distressed…………I may need to go shopping at lunchtime.

It’s snowing in North Yorkshire. Awww, how lovely. Isn’t it pretty.

Not so lovely when you are innocently standing at the kitchen sink being a good dutiful wife, washing the dishes and thinking how this housework thing is actually quite therapeutic and maybe I might tackle cleaning out my wardrobe next because I’m sure I still have a few bags in there that I have hidden way at the back full of stuff still with the labels on that I will produce some time in the future and insist “oh no, I’ve had this for ages” when your husband comes with the mother of all snowballs and shoves it down your back.

Not so effing lovely then is it!!

Words were spoken, he rolled about laughing his ass off and I gave up the housework and ate chocolate. Yes I’m back on the chocolate, but it was momentary lapse. Nobody’s perfect.

To further rub salt on my wounds my son thinks I’m old and fat. He asked me the other day if cars had been invented in the eighties and then told me that eating many sweeties make you fat but not to worry because even though I eat a lot of sweeties I’m “only a little bit fat”!

I just love my boys!!!!!!!

Saturday morning, after about 4 hours sleep we got up to go shopping. Oh my goodness did we feel bad! We went to York and guess what, they have only gone and opened a massive new H & M there, I love that shop, absolutely love it.
All in all it was a really successful shopping trip, we spent loads of money and I got the coolest pair of red wedge shoes in Miss Selfridge because I don’t care what anyone says, I really needed another pair of shoes!

The coolest wine box in the world which now lives in my garage and I am never ever throwing it away!

We somehow managed to miss the train home so we decided to go for a quick drink which turned into a whole bottle of wine which made us miss another train so we thought to kill some time we should have another drink and then, wouldn’t you know it, we missed another train. Only just though I might add, we were getting better. So we went for another drink.
To be honest by the time we got of the train we were pretty hammered.
And the battery on my phone went dead so I had to switch it off.

This is Deborah - she gets me drunk and makes me miss trains

I swear I have the most patient husband in the world. He came to pick us up at the station, 2 hours later than he thought he would be and we walked round the car park looking for the car (slightly tipsy, weighed down by shopping bags and giggling like loonies) and we couldn’t find it. I though I saw it and started walking towards it and then Deborah shouted, “that’s not your car”! “oh yeah” says I and then we started giggling again because I was a numpty and didn’t even know my own car. Except it was my car, which I didn’t realise until 20 minutes later when I switched my phone back on to get about 10 messages from Hubby who had been sitting in the car park the whole time in the car which honestly didn’t look like mine.

So we went home, got changed, polished off another bottle of wine and went out clubbing!

Shurrrupp and fill up my glass

We got in about 3 but I didn’t harass any taxi drivers this time because my patient, lovely gorgeous husband who deserves a medal came to pick us up. I phoned him and babbled down the phone “come get me, luvvvvv youuuuuuu” and so he did and he even turned up right outside the kebab shop because as he said whilst rolling his eyes “I knew exactly where you’d be”.
And we had such a good night, laughing and dancing and reminiscing. Must have been the reminiscing that set me off, or maybe because Deborah was going home the next day (but it was probably the booze) but I was so homesick that when I got home I was howling.
“I’m coming on the train with you” I was sobbing. And that was me, for the next hour. Crying, laughing at myself for being so stupid, crying some more, eating pizza and then crying some more.
What a drunken idiot.

Cheeeeese-yyyyyyyyyyy

Then I cried on Sunday because I didn’t want her to go and I had to take her back to the train station and I hate train stations because most times I go I’m saying goodbye to people and I’m really no good at goodbyes and I so wished it was me going back up north on that train!

This is what the morning after looks like and it's not even fuuny!

She goes out all weekend, gets drunk..........and leaves me with this stupid cat!

Oh my goodness. The weekend. Where to start…..

Deborah got of the train at 4 on Friday afternoon, it was sooo good to see her. We were both like a pair of crazy women, shrieking and jumping up and down. Honestly that girl gets better looking every time I see her, she is one of those people who always look just so perfect and groomed and just gorgeous unlike me who was walking around all day Friday with frizzy hair and I couldn’t take my cardi of at work even though I was really warm because I had put on a black bra under a white shirt because I was half asleep when I was getting dressed.

So we got to my house and cracked open the wine whilst getting ready to go out. The wine by the way was a box left over from a work party which I swiped. I thought if I hid it in the cupboard it would be safe but, oh no, some of the firemen decided to nick it, cover it in not very flattering photos of me taken at the Christmas party and stuck a big sign on it saying “boozy birds plonk”, ha ha, very funny!
I actually secretly kind of like that box and have kept it in my garage.

We went to Tall Trees Friday night and danced our asses off! My feet were killing me by the time we left. That place is ace but you wait for ever to be served at the bar. In the end I got so fed up I grabbed a couple of glasses, reached across the bar when no one was looking and filled us a couple of half lagers each, and then I filled some for the guy beside me and his mate also.
Can I just say that at this point I was extremely tipsy and it was a pretty dumb thing to do, I could have been barred or anything. How embarrassed would I have been if I had been chucked out!
So anyway, we danced, and danced, and danced some more, we had such a good night. Apart from when we had to wait for a taxi home.

We had booked the taxi to pick us up at half two and he didn’t turn up till three o clock. And I had a dress and sandals (brown platform strappy sandals, just thought I’d get that in) on. And my toes were numb. And I said some not very nice things about the taxi driver which was just plain wrong because he was a lovely, lovely man. A wee star.

I’m a nightmare with taxi drivers when I’ve had a few. If I’m out with Hubby he is always saying “promise you won’t harass the taxi driver on the way home”. Yeah, ok. I always tell them that I love them and that they are the taxi best taxi driver I have ever had and that I like their car and then I make them let me play with their radio. His name was Phil and Phil didn’t have a radio, he had a mobile instead which was a bit disappointing but he was still lovely and now Phil is my new best friend don’t you know.

When we got home at 4 or so we made pizza (most of it ended up on the floor) and sat up and talked rubbish for an hour.

Good grief was I knackered the next day.

Have to go do some work now, The Weekend, part deux will be added later. With pictures. Yay!

My gorgeous, lovely, adorable friend Deborah comes down from Elgin today and we have an absolutely crazy weekend planned.

Tonight we got to Tall Trees in Yarm which is just the best place ever, it’s a massive club and there are 5 different bars in there. It’s my mission to get into the VIP area and I’m damn well gonna do it. I have a suitably slutty dress and have practised my puppy dog eyes. We will be sipping cocktails with the Very Important Peoples tonight I tell ya!
We have a girlie shopping day planned tomorrow (Topshop here I come) and then out again tomorrow night.
It’s a good job I have a patient husband!

Deborah is an absolute wee star, she is lovely inside and out and I haven’t seen her for over a year so I’m really, really REALLY excited about this weekend.

I can’t really write much else because I’m a bit giddy today. I have been bouncing up and down in my chair all morning and am going to get absolutely sod all work done, but hey, it’s a special occasion.

Plus, its payday today…..it just gets better and better!

Apparently the best way to achieve what you want is to visualize it and start behaving as if you have already got what you want. Apparently. It must be true because I read it in Cosmopolitan but I think if I suddenly start walking around with a pillow stuffed up my jumper and complaining about puffy ankles people might think I’m a bit weird so thanks for nothing you stupid magazine.