Baby Leon arrived yesterday at 5.30pm weighing 6lb 9oz and everyone is well!

I am an aunty!!!!!!!!

I have a new job and, no, it’s not as a lap dancer, thank you very much (see previous comments)!! Not that I have anything against lap dancers, they make good money you know but the only person who is going to see my ass in a g string is my husband and even then only in a dim light and if it totally can’t be avoided!
I get to work with kids and young offenders and I absolutely can’t wait to start. It’s the job I applied for 3 months ago and didn’t get so I applied again and worked my wee butt off because I was determined to kick ass at the next interview so to cut a long story short I got it (along with an 8 and a half grand pay rise which will sooo come in handy) and I am extremely chuffed and happy and delighted to say the least.

Anyway, enough of that rubbish…big news of the day…….my sister goes into hospital at 8 o’clock tonight to be induced. Baby Leon is going to finally make an appearance!! She is remarkably calm for someone who’s about to push a melon out a hole the size of an orange. I am a nervous wreck for her.
I am not exactly an expert on childbirth, when I was in labour it lasted 20 minutes. It was over before I even realised what was going on so I have absolutely no good advice to give her except take all the drugs you can get which probably isn’t all that helpful but it’s what I’d do!
So anyway, everybody send up a wee prayer for my sister tonight. This time tomorrow, hopefully, I will be an aunty!!!!

I have just spent an absolutely fantastic week at home in Stornoway. It really was amazing and I just wasn’t ready to leave. We drove up through the night last Friday, best journey ever, me and the wee man had duvets and pillows in the back. I remember seeing the Scotch Corner Hotel then I woke up and we were in Glasgow. Next thing I knew hubby was poking me in the ribs asking if I wanted some breakfast and we were in Inverness, it was great. Hubby was knackered but bless him he didn’t complain when I dragged him round the pubs on the Saturday night and wouldn’t let him go home till 3 in the morning.
And I even got up for church the next day. Now that’s impressive eh!

Hubby is away AGAIN, yes AGAIN!! Sometimes I remember I have a husband because he sends me the odd text message.
I hate it when he goes away because things always break or go wrong and normally the first thing I do in that situation is yell for him which is not much goods if he’s a 3 hour train journey away.
The week before last when he went one of the cats killed a mouse, well actually they decapitated the poor thing and left outside the back door where it remained for 4 days until he came home because I couldn’t touch it and my son proceeded to tell everyone we had a RAT at our house.
Well last night there was a wasp in the bathroom. It wasn’t a normal wasp though, this thing was some kind of giant mutant big sting in the ass wasp, no joke, it was massive.
So I had to phone my friend Mel to come over and kill it for me because I couldn’t even go upstairs I was so scared. Mel squashed it with my latest copy of Elle which I hadn’t even read yet and had to throw in the bin because it had wasp guts all over it.
It was dis-gust-ing!!!

This is why I love my husband, he kills things for me and doesn’t mind getting rid of the odd decomposing carcass or two.

.....because I haven't written anything for ages.
I promise to write loads tommorrow....

Have been out for dinner tonight

The night started out really well (note the large glass of wine)

.......and wound up with me pole dancing round a lamp post!