Oh my Goodness, I have become totally obsessed ever since Baby Leon came along, I can’t stop buying baby stuff! But you know I am taking my responsibilities as an aunty very seriously……

…..see what a cool aunty I am, I bought him his first pair of trainers! There was a really cute wee tracksuit as well but I resisted, you should only wear track suits when you’re going to the gym I don’t care what anyone says and I doubt very much he will be heading of to the gym at 2 weeks old.

Everybody says he looks like my father, poor kid, mind you, I suppose he is kind of bald and all babies have wrinkly faces so maybe.

To all the people who said I couldn’t cook and didn’t know one end of the cooker from the other…….eat your words. Look what I made tonight…

Ha! All by myself as well. Technically it’s not exactly cooking (if you want to be picky) but that’s not the point. I didn’t buy it in a packet so I made it ok!

In the spirit of domesticity and being a good wife and always having my husbands tea on the table at 6 o clock on the dot and folding his socks in pairs and ironing his boxers I even attempted some housework.

Which is why I look so hacked off and as though I’m about to ram my duster down someone’s throat.

No, I’m not in my pyjamas, don’t let the toast fool you, I’m actually doing some really important kung foo stuff

See!

Yes,, I KNOW! I know whats down the hatch and it’s a wee Scottish man who thinks he’s Jamaican and his name is Desmond!
Ha!
And Dr Jack knows him cos he met him when he was running up and down the stadium steps and he was all upset because he couldn’t fix his wife only she wasn’t his wife then and he had his perplexed face on and his hair was all floppy and ewww but you still would and he hurt his ankle and Desmond said “lift it up brother” and now he’s only flipping down the hatch!!

(Am so excited by this I seem to have forgotten how to punctuate).

And Sawyer pulled out his own bullet, man he’s got balls, he’s kind of mean but mean in a good way, I mean he’s not even scared of that big shark and even though he’s not a kick up the ass of Victor Meldrew you still would and he could look after you I mean I don’t think Dr Jack would really be any good in proper crisis that didn’t involve a stupid island, if you ever get caught in a bank robbery it’s Sawyer you want standing next to you in the queue definitely, mafia drugs war in a deserted warehouse, I’m having Sawyer. He would hide you in a cupboard and growl huskily “Don’t worry baby, I’m coming back for you” then he would grab his uzi machine gun run out and blow all the drug barons heads off, 10 – 1 he’d kick their ass and then he would come back and his hair wouldn’t even be messed up (and did I mention the skin tight white vest) and he would grab you and tell you, you were safe and all the big nasty coke heads were dead and then he’d take you shopping and buy you jimmy choos.
(Flipping heck, was that all one sentence)???

Anyway…..I KNOW WHATS DOWN THE HATCH!

Hi Y’all

My name is Baby Leon, well actually its just Leon but some people think it’s cute to stick baby in front of it. Yeah, right. I can see I’m gonna be stuck with this one till I’m 19.

They also think it’s cute to hover over me when I’m trying to sleep and make weird cooey noises, personally I think it makes them look slightly deranged but, hey whatever floats your boat!

Look at my little fingers…..look I tell ya….you know you just want me to do that cute baby thing and curl them round you pinky. Look at my little head…you know you want to sniff it, you know you do…I smell of bunny rabbits and fluffy clouds and I’m all warm and snugly.
You’re a goner eh! The babies gonna get ya!!!

I kept my eyes closed for your own good. These things are like weapons of mass destruction, one look from me and you are in my power forever! Ha!
I will zap you with killer come snuggle me now rays from my special baby powered make you broody eyes and there is no hope for you.
First the nurse, now the internet, soon the world will be mine!!!!

Anyway, gotta go, it’s hard work being as damn cute as me. All this being adored really takes it out of you man.

Thanks for stopping by.

Keep it cool folks

Baby L.
X