Guess who’s going to Amsterdam for the weekend……ME, ME, ME!!!!!!!!!!

Am so excited, it’s not for another couple of weeks and I really don’t know how I’m going to wait that long.
Me, hubby and 2 friends are going on the party boat (party boat! How cool is that) we sail from Hull, it’s an overnight crossing and they have bars and nightclubs and cinemas and stuff and I think I’m going to burst I’m so excited.
I need to buy some new clothes!!!!
I need a boarding the boat outfit, I need a sipping cocktails in the bar outfit, I need a dining in the a la carte restaurant outfit, I need a comfy but cool touristy but with a European style slant outfit, I need some new shoes just because I do and I need some new luggage to carry it all in!

Guess who’s going shopping…………ME, ME, ME!!!!!!!

C A is one of my oldest and dearest friends. I love her. I know everyone loves their friends but I really, genuinely, truly love that girl.

She and her husband live in Inverness in a lovely house and have great jobs, him in Community Service (he works there, not actually doing community service) and her some high powered Gaelic development role.

They are amongst my favourite people in the whole entire world.

And they are going home!

They are both packing up their jobs and studying to become teachers, they are selling their house and moving back to Lewis.
It’s fantastic for them because they are going to be doing something they really want to and everything is going to work out and they are going to have fantastic careers and be so happy and it’s going to be a whole new start and I am dead chuffed for them because I want them to be happy and they both deserve it so much and I love them but to be honest, I’m a wee bit gutted.

See, me and Hubby have this long term plan. We do another couple of years south of the border then we move back up north and buy a house in Inverness overlooking the Black Isle, I have a baby, Hubby retires from the airforce and gets a fantastically paid, interesting job on civvy street and everything’s hunky dory.
Except C A won’t be there now.
She’s my comfort blanket. And she’s leaving.
And I’m such a selfish cow for even thinking that.
I phoned Hubby to tell him the news and I cried and I want to cry now whilst I’m typing this.
We were supposed to live near each other and have babies at the same time and babysit for each other and go shopping together and moan about our husbands together. I never told her I’d planned her life out for her but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind and now she’s not going to be there and all my plans are ruined.
Who’s going to go make an idiot of themselves at Yogalites with me and join the gym and never go with me and who’s going to talk about which curtains I should buy for my new house for an hour solid me and who’s going to eat cheesecake and set the world to rights with me?

But you know the worst thing. Everybody is at home now but me. My friends, my family, everybody. Except me.
Obviously I have friends that don’t live there (I do, honestly) but the ones back home, they’re the special ones. They’re the ones that know me so well, I share my past and my misspent youth with them, I’ve laughed with them, cried with them, grown up with them and I miss them all so much.
And they’re all there and I’m not.
Just knowing that is going to make it that bit harder to leave when I go back and it’s going to make me that little bit more homesick.

I am such a selfish cow, I am happy for them I’m just a wee bit sad for me.

I got stuck in traffic for half an hour this morning on my way to work which wasn’t good because I was late anyway.
Half a flipping hour! If it wasn’t so hot my face would have been beetroot anyway because my blood pressure was hovering somewhere around 3000 on the Richter scale and I hadn’t had any breakfast.
Traffic jams, heat and hunger pangs are a bad combination on pretty much any day but today they were made even worse by the fact that I was stressed by the mouse!

The mouse has been hanging around my house for the past 2 days, no fault of its own, it’s dead. It’s even deader now that I reversed over it with the car and then nearly stood in it.
Nobody wants to stand in mouse guts right but you especially don’t want to stand in mouse guts whilst wearing your new gold sparkly flip flops with the embroidered bit on the front.
Oh no, that is not a good situation to find yourself in.

Luckily for me and my flip flops I noticed the various bits of mouse intestine and liver and what not spread all over the path before my feet made contact.
I would never have been able to wear my new gold sparkly flip flops with the embroidered bit on the front again.

This is itself would normally not bother me, ok, I’m a wee bit squeamish (especially when it comes to mouse guts) but I’m a pretty laid back kind of person and hey, at least I’m not the one with my guts spread all over the path and tyre prints across my head. Right?
Except today, I was stressed by the moth!

Hubby was away on Monday night and I had The Mother of all Moths in my bedroom.
I went to bed quite happily and was laying there admiring my new curtains and duvet cover and bamboo thingy hanging above my bed (Ikea, Ikea, I love you Ikea) and this big, mutant, freaky, massive winged beast of a thing attacked me and I was so scared I had to run out, shut the door behind me and sleep in the spare room.
When I went back in, in the morning there was no sign of it and then when Hubby came home I sent him in and he couldn’t find it either.

But the thing is I know it’s still there. This thing is crafty, it’s lurking somewhere waiting for its chance and then it’s going to jump out at me and flap its wings in my face and I’m all scared and stuff so every time I go into the bedroom I have to arm myself with a big tin of Elnette hairspray just in case it pounces.

Hubby told me they only live for a day and that it’s probably dead now but I think he was just saying that to shut me up and anyway, who wants a great big stinking moth carcass decomposing in their bedroom.

Maybe they do only live for a day. I’m away to Google it…………….

Sports day today. Sports day! 2 firsts and a third!! That’s my boy.

Not only have I produced and raised a child genius (we got his report card the other day and he’s above his age level for maths, he doesn’t get that from me because fractions make me cry) but I have also raised a child of outstanding sporting ability.
Lets be honest, he doesn’t get that from me either because as Hubby says “you don’t really like moving unless you have to”.
He’s got a point.

So I sat there, on the sports field, under a tree, with my sun hat, glasses and factor 50 cheering my wee head off. He only got a third because the wee boy (read evil little cheater or feel free to inset your own insult) beside him pushed him over mid race.
He would have come first otherwise, he had it in the bag.
I did a runner when they announced the mothers race was next.

Today I am a very, very proud mother!

It is so, so very hot today. I hate it!
I actually tried sitting out in the garden with Hubby the other day. He was basking in the sunshine (frying himself) and I was sat under a bush with a parasol a big hat, oodles of sun cream frantically trying to follow the shade around.
Honestly, I moaned and whined for about an hour before I gave up and went inside and when I complained that I was melting the only response I got was “really, I thought it was only when someone threw water on you that, that happened”.
My husband thinks he’s funny and he’s so not!

Apparently tomorrow is going to be the hottest day in the North East for a hundred years. Good grief I wish it would rain.
Bah flipping humbug. (Or is that just for Christmas).

I’m in the office today and I’m supposed to be working or something but seriously, it’s just not happening.

I have this thing wrong with my eye, it’s all pink and swollen and I look like a pig! Yes I do! A pig with little squinty, pink, piggy eyes. I am NOT happy!
So I’m going out for lunch and then I’m going shopping and all will be right with the world once more.

I watched the world cup final (don’t fall of your seat now) because I’m a good wife and I let my husband watch football and I even sit and watch it with him.
I tell you what, that ref was quite fit!
I honestly think that it was the first time ever in my life I have sat through an entire football match and now I know why, it was so, so dull, a bunch of stupid men kicking a ball around, what on earth is the point and who cares anyway. The fireworks at the end were quite good and it got a bit exciting when that Zinfandel guy head butted the other one and I just thought what an idiot but you know what, I heard on the radio this morning that the other guy insulted his mother and she is apparently seriously ill and was going into hospital so fair play to him. If it was me I’d have kicked him in the balls as well.

The little man who sits at the desk next to me keeps talking to me. This shouldn’t be a problem because I love a good gossip at work and it beats the stuff I’m supposed to be doing but, and I feel really mean for saying this because I don’t want to be nasty about anyone but it’s true and I’m just going to say it, he’s is so boring.
He spent half an hour talking to me this morning about how much better the Motorola V3i is than the V3, HALF AN HOUR!! I can’t take much more of this. He tried to start up a conversation about airplane cockpit electronics and I just had to leave the room. I had visions of stabbing him in the eye with my biro.
I haven’t even got the energy to pretend I’m interested anymore, he’s sucking the life out of me with all this talk of how to time your journey to work in the morning so you miss the worst of the traffic and which is the best route to take and why the A19 is one of the worst roads he has ever come across in his life and “I think I might phone the transport department and complain”, stop it, stop it, please, please, just stop it
The thing is I actually quite like him, he just like talking a lot, about really boring things which is ok but, please, please, please, stop talking to me OK.

Please……………….

It’s Friday today, don’t ya just love it and I’m going to Ikea tomorrow.
I-K-E-A!!!!
I’m going in for a pair of curtains which normally means I come out 4 hours later and 3 hundred quid poorer, but hey, keeps me happy.

It’s also my wedding anniversary tomorrow (what a fantastic way to celebrate, trip to Ikea), 9 years! Oh my goodness, I don’t know how that man has survived, I really don’t. I couldn’t live with me.
Anyway, my friend Jo is home from Germany for a few days and we planned this night out and she kept it free because you know she has all these relatives and stuff to visit and we had this planned for absolutely ages and then I suddenly remembered what date it was!
So I felt awful, really guilty and I was going to cancel and let Jo down and Hubby was all like “no, go out, we can celebrate next week, I don’t mind” and I was all “no, I can’t do that, it’s our anniversary” and he was all “Go out, honestly, I’ll stay in and watch a film” and I felt awful, really, really awful but anyway. I’m going.

(They have these really nice fairy lights in Ikea that you wrap around your garden parasol, think I need some of these, and a new bedside cabinet.)
(I need one of these wooden box things that look like a table but you can keep stuff in it also, how clever are they!)

The thing is, if he arranged to go out with the boys on our anniversary I would KILL him, absolutely kill the man. It would be grounds for divorce and I would be in a huff for weeks and then I would totally milk it for all it was worth and put my “look at what you did to me you selfish awful man” face on whenever he looked at me until he felt really bad and bought me a car or something.

And he doesn’t even mind.

This is why my husband is a much better person than me. This is why after 9 years I love him more than ever and actually do wish I was staying in with him. This is why after 9 years I completely and utterly adore the man and he makes me count my blessings every single day.

Happy anniversary Hubby! Even though you probably won’t read this the whole internet knows I love you.

Ryan announced yesterday that Becky asked him out at school and he had to say no because “I still love Abbey”, who has moved to Germany but is coming home this weekend and Becky got a bit upset but give my son his due, he’s nothing if not faithful,
He also told me that Connor told Sophie he loved her and then told all his friends that he didn’t actually which would be “heartbreaking” for Sophie but it’s all worked out ok because someone told Sophie and now she knows Connor doesn’t love her but she thinks he fancies her and is willing to accept this.

When I was 8 I thought the opposite sex was for throwing stones at!

p.s My hair’s gone curly and my laptops bust…….happy days!

Oh my goodness, I haven’t posted on here for so long. I don’t even know what to write about but I’m sure something interesting must have happened in the last 2 months….probably……

Well, the big new is I got i’d’d buying a bottle of wine in Somerfield, admittedly it was the cheap fizzy tat that you would normally buy to go and drink with your mates behind the nearest bike shed when you 16 but I like Lambrini ok and at least I’m not buying Buckfast so lets not be snobby. Anyway, the woman was probably smashed herself but no matter, she is now officially my new best friend and I have decided Somerfield is a really cool place to hang out because they think I’m under 21 and even though their staff is probably recruited form the nearest loony bin I love them all OK!!!!

I love, love, love my new job but it’s crazy busy. I am absolutely knackered (6 o clock start tomorrow) and there is loads of driving but it’s amazing and I love it. I love working with the kids, I love being out of the office all the time, I hate my skanky uniform but I love everything else, LOVE IT!!

It is absolutely boiling hot here which is great except if your from the Hebrides and have skin which starts to bubble at the faintest sign of sunlight, good grief, I sound like a vampire. So it’s all factor 50 and sticky hair and all the windows open and “all my freckles are coming out and I don’t like it” in my house.
Oh, I’m a pleasure to live with in the heat.
Hubby is delighted because he gets to do outside man things like mowing his lawn which he is completely obsessed with (we have moved on from pans folks), sit in the garden and congratulate himself on his immense skill with a strimmer and oo, he gets to light the barbecue and stand over it with his new barbecue tong things that have big serrated edges (which I’m a bit scared of) and randomly poke sausages and puff his chest out and make like he’s king of the barbecue or something.
I shouldn’t mock his barbecue skills though because he always cooks my meat just right, after years of convincing myself that things actually taste better burnt I now really, really do believe this and he knows the exact level of burntness I like and he basically cremates it until it is unrecognisable looks like something you scrape of the bottom of your oven and then, and only then, can I eat it.

We have frogs. Well we did have. Ryan came home last week with 2 frogs in a margarine tub which he had bought of his friend Ben for 15p each which he informed me was a complete bargain and could he keep them please, please, please. I at this moment would have agreed to anything to get the slimy little beasts away from me because I was actually sitting in a big bubble bath and had visions of the frogs which were being thrust I my face so I could see how cute they were jumping out of the margarine tub and into my bath! Not good!
So I agreed we could keep them in the garden and we filled an old ice cream tub up with water and sand and some rocks and leaves and stuff (I was quite proud of it and they liked it) and put the frogs safely in a corner. Or so I thought. When we woke up the next morning one of the frogs was gone. They were only babies and couldn’t really jump very far so the cat got the blame.
Ryan wasn’t even bothered but I was a bit gutted because I was getting kind of fond of the slimy little suckers. Ryan replaced the frog with a tadpole which he bought for the bargain price of 10p (5p knocked of because it didn’t have front legs).
So the frog and the tadpole lived happily together for 2 days until hubby booted a football right on the frogs head and killed it.
2 days later the tadpole disappeared also, honestly, you would think we didn’t feed our cats, well I don’t but someone in our house is because they’re not dead yet.
We are not having any more frogs.