I’m in the office today and I’m supposed to be working or something but seriously, it’s just not happening.

I have this thing wrong with my eye, it’s all pink and swollen and I look like a pig! Yes I do! A pig with little squinty, pink, piggy eyes. I am NOT happy!
So I’m going out for lunch and then I’m going shopping and all will be right with the world once more.

I watched the world cup final (don’t fall of your seat now) because I’m a good wife and I let my husband watch football and I even sit and watch it with him.
I tell you what, that ref was quite fit!
I honestly think that it was the first time ever in my life I have sat through an entire football match and now I know why, it was so, so dull, a bunch of stupid men kicking a ball around, what on earth is the point and who cares anyway. The fireworks at the end were quite good and it got a bit exciting when that Zinfandel guy head butted the other one and I just thought what an idiot but you know what, I heard on the radio this morning that the other guy insulted his mother and she is apparently seriously ill and was going into hospital so fair play to him. If it was me I’d have kicked him in the balls as well.

The little man who sits at the desk next to me keeps talking to me. This shouldn’t be a problem because I love a good gossip at work and it beats the stuff I’m supposed to be doing but, and I feel really mean for saying this because I don’t want to be nasty about anyone but it’s true and I’m just going to say it, he’s is so boring.
He spent half an hour talking to me this morning about how much better the Motorola V3i is than the V3, HALF AN HOUR!! I can’t take much more of this. He tried to start up a conversation about airplane cockpit electronics and I just had to leave the room. I had visions of stabbing him in the eye with my biro.
I haven’t even got the energy to pretend I’m interested anymore, he’s sucking the life out of me with all this talk of how to time your journey to work in the morning so you miss the worst of the traffic and which is the best route to take and why the A19 is one of the worst roads he has ever come across in his life and “I think I might phone the transport department and complain”, stop it, stop it, please, please, just stop it
The thing is I actually quite like him, he just like talking a lot, about really boring things which is ok but, please, please, please, stop talking to me OK.

Please……………….