My holiday is now officially over. I’m back in North Yorkshire, sitting at my desk, looking at a pile of work and thinking about setting fire to the lot and going home!
My brain is still in holiday mode.
I have been here for 2 hours and the closet I’ve come to work is forwarding the vast amount of joke e mails I had waiting for me, 2 weeks worth. I have just realised the amount of time I actually spend abusing the e mail system and it’s a heck of a lot.
I had an absolutely fantastic holiday. It was so good to be home with my family and friends.
North Yorkshire is ok but it’s not my island. The sea gulls don’t wake you up in the morning, you can’t drive 5 minutes and be at a beach, you can’t walk through town and know nearly every single person you meet and you can’t just be still.
I love my life here, I love the hustle and bustle and I love my job but I’m always thinking about what I have to do next, planning for deadlines and trying to balance home and work and have enough time left for Ryan because I don’t want to be one of those mothers that’s always away working and can’t make sports days and parents evenings.
Ryan is the most important thing in my life and sometimes I worry that I’m not giving him enough. There is only so much of me to go round and though he will always have the biggest part, always, no matter what……but what if it’s not enough.
I tell him every day how much I love him and how special he is but I just hope he doesn’t resent the fact that I’m not always at home like some of his friends mothers and I’m a rubbish cook and I’m a bit scatty and maybe just a bit crap.
I think I just have the post holiday blues.
2006-09-04 @ 11:21